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2014/06
心态
顶礼于薄伽梵的莲花足下。
亲爱的兄弟姐妹,
欢迎大家今天早上来参加这个聚会并感谢大家给我这个机会谈谈‘心态’这个话题。我们遇到快乐的一群也遇到不快乐的一群。我们看到喜悦的一群也看到悲伤的一群。我们看到一个人处于心灰意冷之中,因为他在自己所执行的工作领域里遭遇到了挫折。一个失望者拉长着脸在等候好时机的到来。总归有那么一天,同一个沮丧的,精神萎靡的人重新获得勇气和希望并开始振作起来而成为一个成功者。因此,即使在一个人的生活中,我们看到这两种情况 -- 成功与失败的时光。生命就像是一个摆锤,摇摆于泪水与微笑之间。让我们回忆薄伽梵已说过的,“快乐是介于两个痛苦之间的。”也许,如果我们审慎地分析一般的生活方式,我们既不感兴奋也不感气馁。我们不会因受到表扬而忘形也不会因受到责备而反应。薄伽梵说,它们是“生命的撞击与颤动”。所以非常清楚,心态是极其重要的。我们的心态应该是从容处理一切事情的。让我们认清自己惯例的心态,知道什么是正确的心态,而最后找出培育理想心态的途径。
广义地说,心态有两种,正面的(积极的)和负面的(消极的)。负面的心态扼杀进取心,创造力并且模糊人们的视力,致使忽视在他人之内的善良与才华。另一种说法,负面心态亦可归之于心理的反常现象。如果在欠缺正面心态的情况下,也许不会造成伤害,然而肯定的一点是,负面心态会对人生的进步有所阻碍。负面心态剥夺一个人的安宁和幸福。虽然拥有无数资产和财富以及骄人的成就,但是如果一个人怀持一个负面心态,所有这一切诚属枉然,因为他不可能与任何人建立起良好的亲密关系。在一个具有负面心态的人之中,信任与信心是没有立足的余地的。精神不安,困扰,怀疑,不宁静和猜疑会纠缠一个怀持负面心态的人,而有时心念失去其平衡就会导致嗔怒。经常都会有对事对人的一种误会与误解产生。自信更不在话下。这样的一个人没有自信感而不能随时着手于任何新的计划或企业。观察一个持有负面心态的人,我们可以说出许许多多像这一类的事情。
容我在此描述薄伽梵在祂的神圣讲道中所引用的几个例子来加以说明。一个乐观者,其心态总是积极的(正面的),而一个悲观者其心态势必是消极的(负面的)。如果他们两个人同看半杯水,乐观者会说,那杯水是半满的而悲观者就会说,那杯水是半空的。同样,如果两人同看一朵玫瑰,乐观者会说,一根刺上有一朵玫瑰,而悲观者则说,一朵玫瑰上有一根刺。如果两人被关进牢房里,乐观者会透过监狱的铁栅去看星星并寄望有一天会出狱,重获自由,而悲观者则伤感地低下头,想像自己会再次犯法而被关进来。那就是两者的不同之处。关系重大的就是心态。情况一样但反应则不同。我们最好要明白自己是属于哪一类的。难道这不是改变心态的最佳时刻?以负面的心态待人处事,我们会得到什么?这会带来成功吗?如果你的心态是负面的,你能成为一个成功的专业者吗?请慎思之。
我们都知道圣雄甘地(Mahatma Gandhi),在为自由而斗争时,他被捕而关在波拉巴湾(Birla Bhavan)。他认为最繁华奢侈的波拉巴湾竟然是一个比监牢还糟糕的地方。是什么带给他这种感觉?是他的心态造成的。当每一个人都向往奢侈和舒适的都市生活时,一个名叫阿尔贝特施韦策(Albert Schweitzer)的医生却选择到非洲森林去服务贫穷落后的非洲人。是什么使他决定这么做?特蕾莎修女(Mother Teresa)几乎一生都为麻风病患者,孤儿和贫困者服务。跟他们住在一起可带给她什么喜乐?反思一下。除了心态外还有其他的原因吗?佛陀从小就在受到保护和控制的环境中长大,从来没有接触过老病死的折磨和痛苦,当他乘一辆御车出巡时,突然间,他一一遇见了生老病死的痛苦。他的心念转变了。他离开他的年轻而美丽的妻子,耶输陀罗(Yashodhara)以及儿子罗睺罗(Rahul),决定出家过舍离的生活。为什么?难道不是他对生活的心态促使他这么做吗?请注意,心态通常对生命所造成的影响与冲击。
心态取决于我们的优先考量。一个自私的,愚昧,心胸狭窄,机会主义者的心态就完全迥异于一个胸怀开阔,慈悲为怀和有睿智的人。心态胥视一个人的价值观而定。在某种程度上,心态是父母塑造的。一个受到学生崇拜的理想老师会引导学生培育正确的心态。
薄伽梵在祂的讲道中说到悉多(Sita)的性格。罗波那(Ravana)劫持悉多而置她于无忧森林(Ashokavana),Ashoka是无忧的意思。然而,悉多却常常以泪洗脸。为什么?如那地方所取的名字,应该是无忧无虑才对。她怎么总是悲哀呢?在此,悉多的心态又是关系重大了。她的心态不在于世俗的欢乐,因为她所寻求的是与罗摩相伴的幸福与快乐。当人人都喜欢愣卡(Lanka)时,她却难于在愣卡呆下去,因为她有不同的心态。
哈努曼(Hanuman)在《罗摩衍那》(Ramayana)的‘美妙篇’(Sundarakanda)中描述楞卡是个美丽的地方,但在悉多眼里,楞卡却是恐怖的,可怕的,而罗摩所在的森林就远胜于天堂!这是心态的影响,改变了外观。贡蒂(Kunthi),《摩诃婆罗多》(Mahabharata)故事中的般达瓦(Pandava)的母亲,她有个很奇怪的祈祷习惯;她祈求主基士拿赐予她悲伤与苦难。原因何在?她说就是那些苦难使她盼望神,想念神和祈求神,因为舒适而富裕的生活往往使人忘记神。那就是她的心态。如果我们人人都培育这种心态,还会有任何遗憾吗?想想一下吧!同时,培育宽恕的心态亦在所必需。历史记载,耶稣基督在十字架上说,“我父啊!宽恕他们吧!他们不知自己在做什么。”他祈求原谅那些把他钉在十字架上的人。我们曾否想到这宽恕心态!如果有一丝一毫的这种心态存在于我们之内,那还有任何抗争吗?还有任何报复,反击及以牙还牙的行动吗?
让我们回忆在灵道上介绍集体赞唱的大师柴旦尼亚(Chaitanya,神识,正觉)。当他每天在街上击着鼓,高歌主的荣耀时,有一天有人认为他蓄意干扰,抢夺了他的鼓。柴旦尼亚持正面的看法。他认为他的鼓声并未感动他的主基士拿,因此鼓被没收了。这难道不是正面的心态?难道不是以正面的方式去接受一个负面的情况?如果我们培育起这样的一个心态,难道它不会在我们的生命中创造奇迹吗?
它也正好可以使我们想起佛陀生活的一个例子。一天,他走过一条大街,要到另一个村庄去。一群小伙子捉弄他和嘲笑他,对着他大声喊叫,说他是一个大笨蛋;离开他的王妃,他的儿子,他的太子地位以及他的王国,而穿着一身黄袍,剃光了头到处游荡。佛陀耐心地,平静地和微笑地聆听他们的批评而最后告诉他们,“你们说完了吗?你们批评得精疲力尽了吧?完了吗?我要你们尽快把话说完,因为我的信徒离此不远,正等着迎接我。如果他们听到你们的话,他们肯定会严惩你们。听着!我的信徒获得无比的快乐于赞美我,而你们则从批评我中获得满足与快乐。我要两边的人都快乐!我的孩子,要活得快乐。”说着,他便轻松地离开那地方。这是多么理想的一个心态啊!难道不能培养一点这种心态而过一个快乐的人生?为什么不试一试?
薄伽梵告诉我们,“如果你被一只蝎子咬到,不要觉得倒楣,要庆幸你没有被一只蛇咬到。不要感到伤心即便被一只蛇咬伤,要庆幸你还活着。”这是祂期望我们培育的心态。薄伽梵严格地警告那些告诉祂,他们会尝试照祂所说的去做,“不要说‘尝试’,如果你这么说,‘Try’(尝试)就变成‘Dry’(干枯)了。不要尝试你‘必须’做的。”这就是导致一个决定行动的心态而不是仅仅一个尝试而已。祂又告诉我们,“如果有任何人批评你,不要感到难过。要认为那是神透过那个形相来批评你的。无人能促成或破坏一个事业。操纵一切的就只有神。”这就是祂要我们培育的心态。
薄伽梵的一生和使命是正确心态的典范例子。薄伽梵的神圣心态是“赐予和宽恕”。薄伽梵的教导会帮助我们培育正确的心态。祂要我们看到在他人之内的美善与优点并找出自己的缺点。如果我们认识到自己的缺点,而免于谴责任何人,那该是多么美好的一件事啊!能看到他人之内的美善与优点从而建立与同事,朋友以及甚至于一个家庭之中的友谊,合作和了解,那该是多么理想的事。另一方面,把不好的品质推到别人身上,反而妄称自己不实的美善,一个人就会成为他人眼中的笑柄而得不到他人的尊敬。如果我们记得祂神圣的诫命,即“总得记取这两件事情 -- 他人为我们做的好事,以及,我们给他人造成的伤害”,那就是一则有价值的指引了。“总不要把这两件事放在心上,即,你给他人的恩惠,以及,他人带给你的伤害”。如果我们在一生中培育起这种心态,敌意与期望就销声匿迹了。再者,这样的一个态度会改善我们的生活方式。我们生活的座右铭应该是薄伽梵的箴言,“向善,行善和存善”。
尤其是,若我们至少记得其中一项祂的诫命并终生行之,我们就成为他人的理想典范了。既为薄伽梵峇峇的信徒,我们就得回报祂洒向我们的爱。箴言是这样的,“总得助人,决不伤人”。这岂不是“齐家,治国,平天下”之道?除此而外,还有其他途径能让我们生活得安全与安逸吗?每一个宗教的概要与本质除了这,别无它物。
神的基本教导就是爱。薄伽梵峇峇说,“爱是神;神是爱。要活在爱之中”。祂补充说,如果我们爱神却恨同胞,那就没有灵性了。膜拜一个石头偶像却伤害一个神寓于其内的人类,岂不是荒谬至极!所以薄伽梵劝告我们要“爱众生,服务众生”。这灵性的心态强调一个人应该在众生之内,在每一处和每一时刻,去体验圣灵,而这惟有追随爱的途径才有可能体验到。
赛罗姆(Sai Ram)。
取自《薄伽梵斯里沙迪亚赛峇峇普及和实用的教导》第16章
ATTITUDE
With pranams at the lotus feet of Bhagavan.
Dear brothers and sisters,
I welcome you to this meeting, this morning and thank you for giving me an occasion to talk on the subject ‘Attitude’. We meet many people who are happy and also come across people who are unhappy. We see the joyful and also the miserable. We find a person in frustration, having been a failure in his field. A disappointed man puts on a long face waiting for good times. At the same time there comes a day when the very same dejected man with his spirits down, gathers courage and hope and starts improving and emerges as a successful man. Thus even in the life of an individual we notice both these situations – times of success and failure. Life is like a pendulum that oscillates between the two ends of tears and smiles. Let us always remember what Bhagavan has said, “Pleasure is an interval between two pains.” Perhaps, if we analyse critically the life pattern in general we will neither be elated nor depressed. We will not be carried away by praise or react to blame. Bhagavan says that they are the “bumps and jumps of life”. So it is clear that it is the attitude which is important. Our attitude should be to take things in their stride. Let us try to know our usual attitude, the correct and right attitude and finally the way to develop an ideal attitude.
Broadly speaking there are two types of attitudes, positive and negative. Negative attitude kills the initiative, creativity and blurs the vision such that goodness and talents in others are not noticed and ignored. Negative attitude in one way may be taken as a psychological anomaly. It may not be harmful if the positive attitude is missing, but the negative attitude is surely detrimental to progress, advancement in life. The negative attitude deprives one’s peace and happiness. In spite of all possessions and achievements, if one has a negative attitude they are futile, because he will not be able to establish good rapport with anyone. Trust and faith find no place in a person with a negative attitude. Mental agitations, disturbances, doubt, restlessness and suspicion haunt a person with a negative attitude and sometimes the mind loses its balance, consequently the temper is lost. There is a constant misapprehension and misunderstanding of any event and person. Self-confidence is out of question. Such a man feels diffident and cannot readily embark on any new project or venture. Like this umpteen things can be said basing on our observation of a man with a negative attitude.
Let me mention here a few examples cited by Bhagavan in His Divine discourses. An optimist is always positive in his attitude, while a pessimist has necessarily negative attitude. If both of them look at half a glass of water, optimist would say that the glass is half full while the pessimist would say that the glass is half empty. Similarly, when both happen to see a rose, optimist would say that a thorn has a rose, while the pessimist would say that a rose has a thorn. If both are kept in a prison, optimist would look at the stars through the bars hoping that he would be let free some day, while the pessimist would look down feeling sad that he would again commit crimes and be put in prison. That is the difference between the two. It is the attitude that matters. Situations are identical, but the reactions are different. We better know for ourselves to which category we belong to. Is it not the right time to change our attitudes? What is it we get by being negative towards people, matters and situations? Does it lead to success? Can you be a successful professional if you are negative in attitude? Please think and examine yourself.
We all know Mahatma Gandhi, during freedom struggle was arrested in Birla Bhavan. He considered the most luxurious Birla Bhavan worse than a jail. What made him feel so? It is his attitude that made him feel so. When everyone dreams of an urban life of luxuries and comforts a doctor by the name of Albert Schweitzer preferred to serve people in the African jungles. What made him to decide so? Mother Teresa spent all her time in service to lepers, orphans and destitute. What joy did she derive by living with them? Just reflect for a while. Can it be any other reason than their attitude? Lord Buddha, who was never exposed to miseries, sorrows like old age, sickness or death and brought up under controlled and protected surroundings, all of a sudden came across all of them one after the other while going in a royal chariot. His mind changed. He left his young and beautiful wife Yashodhara and little son Rahul, decided to lead the life of an ascetic or a renunciant. Why? Is it not his attitude towards life that promoted him to decide so? Please note the influence and the impact of an attitude on life in general.
Attitude depends on our priorities. A selfish, foolish, narrow-minded, opportunistic person’s attitude is totally different from a broad-minded, compassionate and wise man. Attitude depends upon one’s own values. Attitude to a certain extent is moulded by parents. A teacher, by being an ideal himself directs his students to develop correct attitude.
Bhagavan in His Divine Discourses speaks of the character of Sita. Ravana kidnaps her and keeps her in Ashokavana, which means a place where there is no misery (Ashoka). But yet Sita is always found weeping there. Why? As the name of the place indicates, there is no scope for sadness there. How is it that she is found lamenting all the time? Here again the attitude of Sita is of significance. Her attitude is not for worldly pleasures as she seeks happiness, joy in the Divine presence of Rama. When Lanka is liked by everyone she finds it difficult to stay there because of the difference in her attitude.
Hanuman describes in the Sundarakanda of Ramayana, the beauty of Lanka, which looks horrible and terrible to Sita as she considers the forest where Rama is, more than the very heaven! This is the effect of attitude which changes the very outlook. Kunthi, the mother of Pandavas in the Mahabharata prays in a very strange way. She prays to Lord Krishna that she be given sorrows and difficulties. Why? She says that the same difficulties will make her look to God, think of Him and pray to Him, because in affluence we tend to forget God. That is her attitude. If all of us develop our attitude this way, will there be any regrets? Just think for a while. It is also necessary to develop forgiving attitude. History records the instance of Jesus Christ who said on the cross “Father! Forgive them for they know not what they do.” He prays that those responsible for his crucifixion be forgiven. Can we ever imagine this attitude of forgiveness! If a fraction of it is present in us, will there be any rivalry? Can there be any scope for revenge, retort and retaliation?
Let us think of Lord Chaitanya who introduced mass singing in spiritual path. When he was daily going along the streets singing the glory of the Lord beating the drum, one day someone snatched his drum, thinking that he was disturbing everybody. Chaitanya took it positively. He felt that the sound of his drum did not appeal to his Lord Krishna. Therefore, the drum was taken away from him. Is this not a positive attitude? Is it not acceptance of a negative situation in a positive way? Will it not work miracles in our lives, if we also cultivate such an attitude?
It is also appropriate to remind ourselves an instance from the life of Lord Buddha. One day he was passing through a street. On his way to the next village, a group of youngsters made fun of him and mocked at him, saying loudly at his face that he was a fool to leave his princess, little child, the position of a prince and his kingdom, moving around with a shaven head and wearing ochre robes. Buddha patiently, quietly and smilingly listened to all that was said and finally told them, “Have you finished your talk? Are you exhausted completely from criticizing me? Is it all over? I want you to finish it off quickly, because my disciples are very near from here to receive me. If they hear you, they will punish you severely. Listen! My disciples derive happiness from praising me, while you derive happiness from criticizing me. I want both to feel happy! Be happy my boys.” So saying, he gently left that place. What an ideal attitude it is. Will it be possible to cultivate it a little and be happy in our lives? Why not we try?
Bhagavan tells us, “Do not feel sorry that a scorpion has stung you. Be happy that you are not stung by a snake. Do not feel sad that a serpent had stung you, be happy that you did not die.” This is the attitude he expects us to develop. Bhagavan admonishes sternly those people who tell Him that they will try to act as He says, “Do not say ‘Try’, if you say ‘Try’ it becomes very ‘Dry’. ‘Not Try’ you ‘Must’ do.” This is the attitude that leads to a determined action and not merely a trial. Further He tells us, “If anyone criticises you, do not feel bad. Think that God is criticizing you in that form. No one can make or mar a career. It is only God who does everything.” This is the attitude He wants us to develop.
Bhagavan’s life and mission exemplifies the correct attitude. Bhagavan’s divine attitude is “One of giving and forgiving”. Bhagavan’s teachings will help us to develop the right kind of attitude. He wants us to see good and merit in others and find out our own faults. How wonderful it would be if we are aware of our own faults, which prevent us from condemning anybody. What an ideal it is to see good and merit in others, to establish friendship, co-operation and understanding with our colleagues, friends and even in a family for that matter. On the other hand by attributing bad qualities to others and claiming false goodness to one’s own self, one becomes a laughing stock in the sight of others and will never be respected. It will be a worthy guideline if we remind ourselves His divine command, “Always remember these two things – one, the good others have done for you and the other, the harm you did to others.” “Always forget these two – One the good you did to others and the second, the harm others did to you”. If we develop this attitude in our lives, there will be no enmity and expectations. Moreover, such an approach leads to the improvement of our life style. Our life maxim should be Bhagavan’s dictum, “See good, do good and be good”.
Above all, if we remember at least one of His commands all through our life and follow it, we will be an ideal to others. Having been the devotees of Bhagavan Baba we will be paying our debt of gratitude for the munificent love showered upon us. The dictum goes thus “Help ever, Hurt never”. Does it not establish peace at home to begin with, then in society and finally the whole country? What other path is there to live in safety and security other than this? The sum and substance of every religion is nothing but this.
The fundamental teaching of God is love. “Love is God; God is love. Live in love”, says Bhagavan Baba. He adds that it is no spirituality if we love God and hate the fellowmen. It is ridiculous to worship a stone idol, hurting a human being, who is the very embodiment of God! So Bhagavan advises us to “Love all and Serve all”. This spiritual attitude emphasises that one should experience Divinity in all, everywhere and all the time, which is possible only by following the path of Love.
Sai Ram.
Universal & Practical Teachings of Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, Chapter 16
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